The black suit became my armor. The armor of the business warrior. Black protected. Just like the oversized sunglasses that went on as soon as I left the meeting to shield me from those looking for the truth in my eyes as I exit the building.
I enjoyed the mighty non-transparent world I inhabited as a corporate leader. No one questioned me. I was a walking talking business machine: calculating, planning, strategizing, beating out the next guy for a seat at the boss's side.
And i would have continued on that way, except something happened. A special delivery package sent by Destiny herself. My mother showed up on my doorstep, suitcases in hand.
Uncontrollably events tumbled one on the other as I became Alice head-first down the rabbit hole. No more job. No more friends. No more travel. No more life. Just mom and me. What I had avoided for most of my life came to haunt me under my own roof. The anger and helplessness of the moment kicked in and it was painful. Inside me was a meltdown of atomic proportions.
But the woman who manipulated me from afar was now just a shadow of her old self and what she needed most was what I didn't have to give: compassion.
Toxic mothers breed toxic daughters. There was no comfort to be found between us. Just as I had waited my whole life for her to put her arms around me and tell me everything is going to be all right, I waited five years more, knowing the disease would keep her from doing it.
Then one day the waiting was over. She left me behind. Her leaving broke me. Weeks long I cried uncontrollably. For myself. For her. Empty and orphaned I was in unchartered waters. Physically and mentally burned-out.
A friend dragged me to a workshop on manifesting money. The trainer introduced the concept of focus using breath and sound. I learned how to quiet the relentless thoughts whirling in my head. A sense of peace and a strange awareness came over me. When I found out that these teachings came from a once-secret yoga, I knew I had been given a key to something really powerful.
In the weeks that followed, as I learned more of these techniques, I realized this yoga was nourishing me and raising my consciousness. I realized that the corporate world I lived in was a dinosaur. Leadership today begins within and flows from personal transformation. With renewed energy I saw what I had to do. To raise the consciousness in business by bringing Kundalini Yoga* to leaders. I turned in my black suit for a white one - white being a symbol of this transforming technology.
So, I am still the 'Babe with the Power'. And when I enter a conference room, heads still turn and pulses still race - - and my voice still booms. But now, its to teach, to support, to mentor, to encourage, and to lead from the heart.
*Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan.
Story reprinted from a previous website of mine. I thought it was worth putting up again.